DBKK Treasure Hunt

Tomorrow I'll be going to the DBKK Treasure Hunt meeting at 1pm until 4pm..then the next day we'll be competing with other hopefuls in winning the hunt..so im looking forward for it..if I have time..I'll take pics of it xD

15 minutes to 3AM

Im beat...
and
Im tired..
Final post for this early morning..

peace out!

Culinary Workshop cum International Food Exhibition

Presenting my artwork...or whatever u called it..mainly i called it sampling craps!..why?...CERTAIN SOMEONE is so picky about it =.=...

This is my 3rd draft of my artwork..
The first and second draft is on publisher..and im too lazy to convert the image to .JPG/.JPEG


This is my fourth draft....
I guess at this point I kinda like it more than the first one..
Coz It seemed more.....professional like...from a maker like me xD



My 4th draft got rejected..
So presenting my 5th draft..
Of course by this time I got a bit fed-up on making the flier...OVER and OVER again..and started to just give 60% of it...

She seemed to like my emo-ish background but not to happy with the images I used and the color wordings....so she needed a change...

Again...Fed up is what on my mind..and physically and mentally I got tired...
This is my 5th and final draft...Final time im doing this crap...why?..coz im tired to kept on changing it...so I didn't change much..and I was just giving about 40% of it....

I showed it to her...She liked everything..
But she have a problem with the background...
wtf?....
She didn;t like the yellow-ish buliding look....
So I told her...The background is from google...
So basically..i can't easily delete it...
then she was nodding and was like.."Ahh~~"...
And decided to use this...


As much as I hate to admit it...
Im kinda thankful for it..
It really made me connected with the artiste inside me..xD...
I kinda like it...
but wont be looking forward in doing it for a long long time...hahha =.='''V

no more rest

So Chinese New Year rest is almost over..
tomorrow will be the day I'll get back to college again...
Ah~~..
Truth to be told..I don't feel like going back yet..
Im still on resting/lazy mode...
but that's how life is...
"It grabs you by the ball while you least expect of it"...

*sighs*

I have 2 assignments due on march WHICH i haven't event started yet...
I am digging my own grave...
I have about 100% of each assignments that needed to be done...
and Im only done about 0.2%

Im as good as dead!...

Anyways...I might pull an all nighter ...but that rarely happen unless im over stressing myself..
anywho....I might just do it and try to make it better before the deadline...

Im a capable person.....
in a stressing situation....

Not boasting myself..but thats how I am...


Off to stress myself...

Chaiyo!

OH!

OH!! so cool xD

a girls generation cover.....
The song was stuck in my head for almost a week now..
so i decided to learn the dance move yesterday for an hour and recorded it today at high noon..as u can see from my yellow clock at the back it was 3++PM xD...

The routine I followed is from WaWaSchool-Rookie's Generation. the dude cover...
not from the girls dance video....

Its still unpolished...but mehh..I like it....

and Yes..yes...im not a tight bikini size...so live with it....no one's perfect

ps: im TO lazy to write anything this is just a copy paste description from my youtube LOL

enjoy ^_^

OH!

yup! OH!...
new song from Girls Generation..
the music is addictive..
...At first I thought the dance was hard..
but after learning it for a couple of hours...its actually easy than I thought xD....
I just need to memorize it and then record it hehehe.....

Love the song.....after this song, I wanna learn Eun Ji Won's Siren song...
USELESS!!!...xD...Coz I always start laughing my arse off whenever I see the crab dance LOL....
maybe I'll take a break and start singing again...
been so long since I actually record a decent song and mix it...=.=....


anyways....thats all hahahahah

Pictures

As promised these are the pics that i was talking about last night.....

Fun~~

15th February was fun....
I went out with my friends at night!..
and that never happens...

I mean..NEVER..
I guess it didnt really count much coz I got into fight my dad the day before and I skip meal for 1 and a half day...which I lost remarkably 2Kilos...then I gain back 1Kilo at Felicity's Chinese New Year open house...
I need to remind myself that girl is CRAZY xD...
She gave me an alcoholic drink from her cabinet collection..I swear to god..im not a fun fan of liquor..so I just took a sip...
Coz not nice la she poured this expensive drink for me to waste...
but the person I scared the most is the judge beyond earth..a.k.a god himself xD...
im SO going to hell =.=...

ANYWAYS~~...I strayed from the story again =.=...
*sorry sorry*
I didnt tell my dad about me hanging out with friends..but I guess auntie told him...So before I took off...Mcm besa la....Salam tangan..hormat orang tua...
It was funny..I was angry at him but my heart soften....so I was holding back the smile...reaaaal bad xD.....
So when I was holding out my hand to salam...he said to me..."Tau pun salam"...Then I answered "Of coz la...Manatau aku mati tengah jalan"..then he replied "Aku Kubur Jak"...

Sabar jak la kan??..
But funny la...coz thats how me and my dad reconcile things..NONE of us wants to admit our wrong doings....

Anyways....after chinese new year celebration at Fely's house, we went to 1st beach....
Met my old good friend a.k.a lover xD....PIXIE YAP....Didnt really recognize her...she had grown so much...err....she's still 'small' but she had matured over the years..and she still remembers me...Ahhh how much I've missed the old days...

Then, Kath send me back home..
Kinda feel sorry for her..
I wish I could drive already so that I wouldnt be much of a burden to EVERYONE...

I've taken some pics from my crappy camera phone..
BUT....Uploading it here when I feel like it...
Coz to tired to do so...
Ah~~...

Today I've become a girl..I ditched the whole black T-shirt things and went to a more girly outfit....black tight leggings..and high heel....with a colorful eye make up...

The change was...........HARD.....TIRING.....and..PAINFUL...=.='''
AH~~~ Things I do to make people satisfy.....

Well..Im off to bed.....
Nighty Night

is it wrong?

Is it so wrong for me to cook full course dinner for the whole family and wanting everyone to be there and eat?...

Tell me if its wrong??...
Its 2010...and we all NEVER sit one table and eat together..
So I started cooking today with the intention for all of us to eat together..
and by that I meant..

Me, Kelly, Bapa, Kakak, Leo, Izzati, Auntie and her daughter...

itupun mau marah ka?...
tiap kali masak on certain occasion pun kena marah
salah ka menunggu smua untuk makan sama2?
kalau salah buat apa mau anak ramai2 kalau ndak makan sama???

I cook with my heart...
so that i want EVERYONE to feel my love in ONE table..

Salah ka?..

Kalau salah baik ndak payah masak lagi seumur hidup....
Baik mati kalau gitu....

Nangis pun tambah kasi sakit hati jak...

I.Dont.Want.To.Be.Here.At.The.Moment

Lunar New Year dinner

So we went out for dinner last night...









Was fun....

This was my before look..


-Puffy Eyes...
-Red-ish skin
-After Shower Look

XD

After Look..Finishing touches..



-Emo-ish look..wasnt aiming for it...=.=
- Im not a fan of color on my lips....[In need to find a nude lipstick] xD
-I trimmed my bangs a little coz it was getting to long...




my eyes....xD
Black......is beautiful...BIB..

Chinese New Year & Valentine Day

My post has NOTHING to do with the title..
Im having a writer's TITLE block! xD

Well, the original plan was to cook for the whole family on the night of Chinese New Year's Eve...
which is NOT happening...
So we'll be eating out instead.......So my dad's wife suggest instead of me cooking tonight...why dont I just cook tomorrow...That's okay with me..but the main problem is it depends on my mood and eagerness in cooking...I want to make it special and had mentally prepared since 2 weeks ago to cook on this day....I hope the determination and eagerness still lives the next day so I can cook for the whole family...

Shhhh....deep in my heart, I wouldn't mind doing all the cooking and cleaning but still someone as lazy as me need something to boost me in doing it...hehehe xD...

^ I'll ALWAYS deny it if u ever mention this

......Im looking for a couple of days rest before starting my assignments....
Everytime I start my day ...I always remind myself " Sha Keera! Fighting!"...
Its a korean term to do things well..
So it boost me up mentally...but not for the whole day...

.....im getting off topic!....
Ahhh Aigu~~~~

....
Well....Im not sure if my dad's Chinese/Kadazan family will be calling us to celebrate the new years tomorrow or not.....and as usual.....another year of celebrating Valentine's Day...Alone...
*sighs*
I guess I've grown used to celebrating it alone....
But im looking forward in having the 'other' person with me too ^_^....

Anyways..
GONG XI FA CHAI minna~~
and LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY to all u little boys and girls xD

soul out

So this week has been a hell for me....
2 weeks in a row...
tired............TIRED...

So I decided to go to this Valentine vs Chinese New Year thingy organized by the college president and INTIMA...I was looking forward on joining and have fun with with everyone...
There's this words that keeps on popping in my head afterwards "regression is too late"...

Oh My God!..I never felt so...Bored in my entire life...Even the most boring classes or places i've attended NEVER bored me out!...
It felt my soul flew out of my body and my mind just checked out...
The food was nice...
The atmosphere was...Ok..
The people was the problem..

First!..the WRONG timing for the gathering...
Its close to Chinese New Year..and prolly 75% of the students had gone back to hometown
Second!.SOME people should just be nice..even IF they tend to be a hypocrite..
shooting FAT people as a joke to make the surrounding more fun..doesnt make YOU sounds cool or whatever...
It just calls you for a beating...
and its a good thing I wasnt in a mood of paying back the deed....

No one's perfect hunny....not even you...

ahhh such a waste of money....
If I was looking for people to make fun of big sized people..I would've just walk around the streets...
Its FREE OF CHARGE!

More Than Words than just BitterHeart

boredom kills..
V day is just around the corner..so this is just a little gift for all those lonely souls like me..and my good friends...kitty kath and DianDian hehehe



love ya'll

I need to re-energized..WTF with this fat issues?

Lately I've been very tired..
I cant really focus on any subject without yawning..
I yawn for every 5 minutes...
I kept on rubbing my eyes to stay awake...

I need some Zzz time pronto!

So yesterday I went back to my late mom's kampung...
yes...yes..no one MISSED doing the "fat" gesture to me...
this girl treating me like im 17...while doing the "fat" body language to me..

what did I do?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...
Why?..

Because I accept that I am not skinny..
but why does everyone need to get under my skin about it?..

Come la people..
me being fat doesnt really bothers me..
so It shouldnt be bothering you also...

*sigh*
I DO want to loose weight..
WHEN the time comes...
By then....

and im saying it nicely...

My body..MY life.....

be it that way

Token of my 'LOVE" for Diyana

For this upcoming valentine's day...
I've made up a special EMBARASSING act of mine for the pleasure of my Love's watch..
Dont get me wrong...
I meant love not in a sexual way..
But in a friendship way..

I look up to my friends not only as partners in crime ..hehe..but also my sisters..
we may not come from the same family...but we are SISTERS for life ^_^

Although I bitch a lot to her..
But she has been a good friend...
Through thick and thin...
I hope she can see through my childish act and bitchiness..

U know above all I love you my friend ^_^

Pondering....thoughts....giving up...?

I've lost interest in college...
No..
More on..I've lost my reasons WHY I need to be in college..

To study?..
To get the certificate for a better job?..
To widen my 'friend' range?
To find Mr.Right?..
To get better education?..
To satisfy certain people?


Seriously..I've lost my connection on it..
back in 2007..When I started my first year in college, taking up Hotel Management as my major..I thought I would like to work in a hotel someday..and earn my living from it. Then goes on continuing my degree, along the way I try to find myself a man and see what future brings us..

I started thinking seriously on 2008 that...its.not.what.I.really.want.to.do.in.life.
I tried to be positive and just do it and hope along the way, I'll see what I saw on my 2007 thoughts.
To think of it...Now its 2010..and all I have been doing is the "Just do it" part and not the other way around.
Although I always said to give up quickly..but I never do it that fast..
I still feel like I want to do it...
but I believe Im doing this JUST to satisfy my dad..and his hard earn cash that's being burned i my course..just adds up the guilt

My heart is not at the right place
..
So does my ability to continue this..

Some of you might think that what im doing is pointless..
But I do struggle all the time just to break even things [Although I dont show it much to people and make them believe im living a happy life all the time] .
Im no where near the intelligent area..So I make use of my communication skill as much as I can through presentations to cover my flaw...and for the extra markings!

"This is NOT pointless"
Everyday....Everyday I say this in my head...Re-playing in my mind like a broken record...
A good friend of mine say "U will not go in the line of hospitality after U graduate"...
I asked for a reason..and she never gave me one. She kept on implying the same words over and over again..
I wont lie..the anger was there...the curiosity was there...
All I did ...correction..ALL I EVER DID in this kind of situation is just fricken smile..

It makes me wonder when she said that..
"Am I not good enough for this working line?"
"Am I just that plain stupid old fool to just close my eyes and do whatever anyone wants me to do?"
or
"Why in the hell did she said that?"..

I need reason to back up whatever people said..
Everyday I heard people calling me naive, stupid, straight forward..
Well, Im sorry..
I was raised to be a truthful person..
I was raised not to be a rude person..
I was raised..blah blah blah...

Although throughout the years, I followed someone's footsteps and discovered being a rebel isn't a bad thing.
But I still cant change on who I was raised into..

Im not wasting my precious time...
Although I am SURE thats how EVERYONE see me as...
Be lenient on me..
and have a little FAITH..

If you can put your trust and believe on the next person..
why not put it on me too?

im 20 and remain unchanged

*sigh*
I finally move out from the *1 area and entered the 20's
Im in my early 20's...

Its only been a day and I felt the pain of getting old =.=
I played approximately 2 hours of DDR plus 1 hour of Soul Calibur...[Yes im a gamer] tonight..
and I have a test in 10 hours..and only covered the first chapter...3 more to go..
ahhh my aching body...
But it was refreshing..
Hahaha...To be able to move that much..
Ahhh So good to be young again...


Im not EXACTLY old..but for those age conscious people might know what i mean...
Hahahha....=.='''

So today I was texting with an awesome friend of mine...Dyana!!!
She was saying that I've lost some weight off from me..
And I replied her "Lost weight??..I eat everyday like pig and u say I lost weight?"

LOL...


I seriously don't feel the calories burning off of me...

Ahhhh....Another amazing old friend of mine Rainee..will be returning home from UK this year..and she's wants to see a whole new "healthier" and girly looking me...
Last year I said I wanted to buy a more girly outfit for me on 2010..
Let me recap what I bought...
T-SHIRT!!!!!!

=.='''


Ahhh..maannn~~~~
I need to start doing this...
=.=

girly isnt my thing..
wait...It is....I like being girly..
but dresses..frillies....HEELS...are NOT my thing..
Im more comfortable wearing shirts..and more confidence in black..
Which is a big issue for the WHOLE world now...
Ahhhh...`~

Better cut my wrists..and die slowly...
=.=
Everyday I say the same thing...the mark hasn't faded yet...HAhahaha =.=

I need to settle my issue....


buh bye~~

love,
20 year old me